Help! He Flaunts a Picture of His Ex
“This new guy I’m seeing invited me over for the first time. As we were walking up the stairs, he sort of joked that he had a picture of his ex in his apartment, I guess so I would be prepared? I thought it was going to be in his living room, maybe on the fridge or a side table. Nope, it was across from his bed. Should I bring it up with him?”
Wow. Huh. First of all, I’m hoping you didn’t have sex with him in front of that picture. You know what they say about your ears ringing when people are talking about you? I assume if your ex has sex with someone else in front of a picture of you, your eyes just spontaneously combust and fry in their sockets, leaving only ashes in their wake.
This guy is clearly not over his ex, and he is testing you. He could have asked you to hang out in the living room while he tidied up, then threw the picture in the closet. Or like, lovingly wrapped it in a sweater and tucked it away, at least. He’s trying to see what you’ll accept before being like, “This is way too crazy for me, good luck with the rest of your life.” Think about it: that picture is the last thing he sees before he goes to bed every night. He is purposely trying to induce sweet, s-EX-y dreams.
The most important thing you need to ask yourself is what you want from him. If he is a hot idiot that you snapped up because soon it will be too cold to go out and meet new guys, that’s one thing. If you’re fine knowing that he may make eye contact with that picture while having sex with you, have at it. Still, even if you’re not seriously into him, I vote you bring it up. It’s a matter of basic decency. You can be very jokey about the whole thing! The next time you’re in his room and you start making out, just nod a head toward the photo and throw out something like, “Well, this is going to be the weirdest threesome I’ve ever had!” It’ll make him laugh and hopefully realize how weird it is to leave that picture up. Besides that, I’d also suggest you pursue someone more promising so you don’t get left in the cold if he and this girl get back together.
If you were hoping he’d be more than a fling, get out now. He may be in a not-over-my-ex fog, but either way it’s still pretty disrespectful and shows that he doesn’t care about making things uncomfortable for you. In that case, I wouldn’t specifically bring up the picture. I’d just break it off and say something like, “It seems like you aren’t over your ex and I know how hard that can be to process when you jump into something with someone else.” Then move onto greener pastures where the cows are not still emotionally entangled in their exes. Or something.
Have a love, sex, or relationship question? Send it to Help.JustMyFace@gmail.com and I’ll do my best to answer it here.