On Transforming into a Morning Person

True to my Scorpio nature (just kidding [not really]), I’m all about changing myself for the better. Unless it’s too much work. Then I’m all about staying true to who I already am.

That woman who taught herself how to dance in a year sent me into an hours-long tailspin of watching So You Think You Can Dance videos and furiously googling “dance classes for adults new york BEGINNERS.” I was seriously up until three in the morning trying to copy moves from this video. I had a blast, but it did NOT go very well technique-wise. That’s all I’m going to say about that.

The latest thing I am trying my hand at is becoming a morning person. I am hoping that this will be a stunning transformation from my current self, a total night-owl. If you wake me too early, I will carefully consider ripping open your chest, drinking your tears as a palate cleanser, then feasting on your heart. To clarify, I do not want to be the kind of morning person who does yoga at 5 a.m. and says things like, “Joy courses through me like a raging river!” and “I seem to have run out of wheatgrass for my kale smoothie.” I’m not trying to fully overhaul my life here. I just want to be able to bounce out of bed early enough to write a bit, make an espresso, and not have to rush through my shower.

One thing that I am hoping may save me is my new Philips Wake-up Light, which the company was kind enough to let me sample. It simulates the rising sun so you can wake up without the jarring futuristic ring tone that serves as your current alarm. So far, it really does seem to be a gentler way to wake up. Now I just need to work on setting it early enough to get myself to the gym. Maybe that will be my 2015 resolution. No, that was not a typo. 2015. Baby steps.

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